Showdown!!

Spent the best of this month on Showdown. Filming from the first week, and editing in the next three. Had fun, though it was tough. Wasn't easy coping with the stress and inexperience played a role. I ended up crying in the set. Had differences with the EP and the Japanese consultant.

Finally made the decision to quit. But Ah Gong scolded me, and stressed me out until I had another breakdown in his office. When will they realised that its not the hard work that I mind, but the worry that there is no one else but me? Four years ago, they had to ferry me from Sleague to Olympics and this has been a recurring thing since then. Will I lose the chance of finally being able to go to the Olympics just because there is no one else to take over me?

He didn't make it easier for me either. First, pressuring me to resign, and then telling me he quitting by taking me to his new work place as he sign his appointment letter.

I hate saying goodbyes, and its going to be lonely without him around. I fear, it will be the end of us, after he goes. First, there was the "promise" of making me his PA, then he went on to get another job. Then, where do I stand?

Seeing that he never take his meals regularly, I took up cooking. An avid football player and fan, he made me wanted to take up physiotherapy more. When will he knows that he is important to me? I will be part of his life. But will I?

Maybe now that he's leaving, I will and can finally give up for sure. Its going to hurt a lot. I guess, the hurt will fade over time.